Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, I wanted my first girl talk to be about relationships. I think it’s fitting and goes perfectly with the rest of the Valentine’s Day content that I have planned. If you haven’t already, you should definitely check out my 25 Unique Date Night Ideas. But enough introduction, let’s get into today’s girl talk!
Ladies, I don’t know about you, but I believe that it’s important to ask ourselves the big questions after dating someone for a period of time, especially if we’re dating with a purpose. A few of those questions are: “Is this person right for me?” “Can I see myself being with this person long term?” “Is this someone I can build with?” Those are all valid questions that we should be asking ourselves, but in order to answer those questions truthfully, we have to pay attention to all the right signs. I’m here to tell you what some of those signs are and give you some insight on what a healthy relationship looks like. Now, don’t get it twisted. I’m no relationship expert. These are just qualities that I have grown to value over the years and have learned that most other women value as well.
1. He makes you feel safe and secure
This is very important, ladies. If your man makes you feel safe and secure to the point where you feel protected when you’re in his presence, you never have to question his intentions, or wonder what he’s doing when you’re not around, that’s a good sign. This means you’re comfortable with him and that you trust him. Those two things are a must in order for the relationship to last. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was nervous about spending the night at his apartment because I didn’t know if he had a crazy ex who would pop up or if he had beef with someone. However, he assured me that I had nothing to worry about and that he would never put me in danger. I let him know upfront that safety and trust are important to me, and he gave me his word that I’m in good hands.
2. He’s supportive of your dreams
Your man should be your #1 fan. If he’s supportive and always encouraging you to follow your dreams, that means he believes in you and wants the best for you. Even when you’re being hard on yourself, if he’s there constantly reassuring you that you’re awesome and can do whatever you put your mind to, that’s a man who truly loves and cares about you. I was once in a relationship with someone who would always shoot me down when I would share my ideas with him or tell him my dreams. My boyfriend now is the complete opposite. He encourages me and constantly reminds me that I can accomplish anything as long as I work hard. That’s the kind of support you deserve from your man.
3. He pays attention to you
If he remembers details about you and the things you tell him, he obviously pays attention. That shows that you’re a priority to him, and he’s invested in the relationship. If a man is constantly forgetting important details about you, that might mean you’re not important enough to him for him to care about those things. I’m not saying he’s going to remember every thing you talk about, but he will remember the important things if he truly loves and cares about you. When I was younger, my mom would always tell me, “If it matters to you, it matters.” Your man should feel the same way.
4. He will do anything to make you happy
If your man goes above and beyond to make you happy (without you telling him/constantly reminding him of what to do), that’s another sign that he’s invested in the relationship. He is willing to make your happiness a priority. That is his way of letting you know that you matter to him. At the end of the day, that’s all we really want – someone who makes us feel important. My boyfriend will do things for me when I least expect him to. That man will bring me breakfast on his way home from work after working all night. That’s commitment! I don’t even expect it because I know he’s tired, but the fact that he does it anyway just shows how committed he is to making me happy.
5. His values are the same as yours
In order to have a long, healthy, and happy relationship, you and your man must have, if not the same values, similar values. This ensures that you’re on the same page about things that matter to you both. My boyfriend and I had a long talk when we first started dating about our future and where we expect to be in the next 5 years. We pretty much had the exact same answer: we want to be settled into our careers, making a decent salary, married, and working on starting a family. It was important for us to have that conversation to ensure we’re moving in the same direction.
6. He doesn’t judge you or try to change you
I don’t think some women realize how important this is. A man who truly loves and cares about you won’t judge you or try to change you. He will accept you as you are. Now, if there’s something you need to work on to better yourself, a real man will let you know and instead of tearing you down, he’ll help you get to a better place. When my boyfriend and I first started being friends (not dating), I was a hot mess. I was all over the place and didn’t know what I wanted. I had every excuse in the world of why I couldn’t do this or that, and he told me, “I feel like you’re lost right now, but I’m going to be here for you because that’s what you need.” He supported me and never once tried to change me. He helped me grow and get to a better place on my own.
7. He brings out the best in you
Your man should encourage you to be better and do better. He should motivate you and make you want more out of life. This goes back to what I was just saying about helping you get to a better place. When you’re around your man, you should feel uplifted. If your man is constantly making you want to go harder and be the best version of yourself, that’s a good sign that he’s the one. I knew that being with my boyfriend would require me to mature in a lot of areas because of how mature he is. I’m still growing and still have a lot to learn (you never stop learning), but I knew I had to start somewhere in order to be a good girlfriend. He motivates me to be all I can be, and that’s a huge reason why I fell in love with him.
8. You have fun together
If you and your man are always laughing and having a good time, that means you two are compatible and have similar personalities. Compatibility and being able to have fun together will help the relationship go far. I don’t think we realize how important this is. You have to be able to enjoy your man’s company; otherwise, your relationship will start to feel like a chore, and you don’t want that. I’m extremely silly, so I know for a fact that I could not be with someone who’s always serious and uptight. It just wouldn’t work. My boyfriend and I are always laughing and playing around, and that’s honestly what keeps our relationship going – even during the not so great times.
I know this post is kind of long, but this is one of those topics that I have a lot to say about. I hope you enjoyed it and got through the entire thing.
I want to know ladies: are these things that you value and look for in relationships? Leave a comment below, and let’s get a real conversation going.